Wiggly P - Godfather of 90's R&B

As some of you may know, I was at the leading edge of the New Jack Swing movement of R&B in the early 90's. My trailblazing fashions were copied by many others of the era - without credit, of course. MC Hammer, Bobby Brown, Keith Sweat, Bell Biv DeVoe - they copied it all - the afro fade, the baggy MC Hammer pants, the incredible dance moves and smooth style - without the courtesy to even buy me a pizza. Try as they might, though, they never did manage to copy my most famous move - the one I liked to call the Pizza Slice! Dah dah da daht - PIZZA TIME! Oh yeah! Anyway, here is a copy of the CD cover to my greatest hit of all - 'Get A Pizza Me' - the multi-platinum, certified smash hit of 1992. VH-1 is always pestering me to be in one of those "I Love the 90's" shows or in my own reality show - just like that goofy Bobby Brown/Whitney Houston mess from a few seasons ago - but I'm not a relic yet! PIZZA TIME!

The Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill

I've been perfecting my Pizzamatic 3000 as I've been hiding out lately due to that whole Swine Flu epidemic. After extensive pizza testing, I can finally say with the utmost authority that I am ready to market this invention as the new and improved "Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill!" Perfect pizzas are guaranteed to slide right off my patented Crustonium grill surfaces! Crisp, golden pizza crusts are practically foolproof with my unique Grillmatic grill, designed specifically to lock in the exact proportion of moisture and crispness. The Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill has been certified by the "As Seen on TV" panel of experts, as well as by several actors who play doctors on TV who have made the Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill their pizza griller of choice. Order now, and I'll throw in - for FREE - the Pizzamatic pizza cutter, which ensures clean and even pizza cuts - EVERY TIME! The cutter can be used to also slice tomatoes paper-thin, and it can even cut random cans! If you are not satisfied with the Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill, you can return the grill and keep the Pizzamatic Cutter as my gift to you. What are you waiting for?! Order your Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill TODAY!

Old Modeling Photos

Some of these internet gossip sites just don't know when to stop with all of their digging into my past. So rather than have them blackmail me about it, or have it turn up on CNN.com as some crazy scandal - I'll beat them to the punch and leak these myself. You think they could just leave a pig alone...ah well. Anyway, I was a poor, starving college student and desperately needed the money for pizza - and it beat donating plasma. I'm not proud of myself, but it beat donating plasma (did I mention that already?). Yes I hung out with the Kerouacs and Ginsbergs and Burroughs and Warhols of the world - actually I should say they tried to hang out with me. They were always looking for cool Piggy-isms and groveling around looking for pizza handouts. I basically just wished that they would shower, quit donating plasma, and stay away from my pizza. They never listened to me, and you see where that got them!

Lost Campaign Poster

I was cleaning things up the other day when I found a copy of my campaign poster for the 2008 elections. I noticed that someone totally ripped me off with their oh-so-clever knock off (ahem...Obama...cough...cough). What's a pig to do? In any event, the ground roots tidal wave of support that this iconic image incited totally drove me to a landslide win in the race for Maricopa County Pizza Commisioner. I noticed it did the same for Mr. Obama. I'm still waiting for a word of thanks - or better yet a "Thanks, Man" pizza from his people. Pineapple, green peppers, sausage, onions, extra cheese... (say "Yes We Can!")

Keeping It On The Down Low

Let me tell you something - being a pig lately has been a little nutty with this swine flu deal that is going around. I'm rolling incognito lately just to play it safe. I assure you that I had NOTHING to do with the swine flu!

Quackapelli

Here is my buddy Zach being silly and looking very much like a modern-day Kokopelli. Not that I'm a fan of Kokopelli, or the multi-plethora of Kokopelli merchandise displayed in Sunday newspaer ads by such fine retailers as Fry's Marketplace.

Holiday Hibernation Is Over

After a busy holiday season filled with much pizza eating and a bizarre present wrapping accident that involved tape and no opposable thumbs, I am back to blog in 2009! But I would be remiss in not including a picture of the 2008 Piggy Award Winner for Excessive Christmas Lights (known as the Griswold Award). This is a new award that I just invented this past Christmas season, but I am proud to announce that this years winner is already in the hall of fame for displaying lights above and beyond the standard set by the Griswold house in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (first picture). Well that, and the creative use of about 127 plastic Santas! Our winning house was discovered not too far from our house during one of our neighborhood drives to check out Christmas lights. And without further ado, the winner is (drumroll, please!).....

Griswold House

2008 Winner of the Griswold Award

Parade Musings

I was hanging out at the Tempe Light Parade Saturday night, which was fun. Zach was busy with his nieces, so I hung out with his dad. He let me have some Starbucks. No, it wasn't a grande pizzaccino with whip.

Zoo Flashback

I totally forgot about the punk rock pigs at the zoo - I guess I was so shocked and astonished that piggies can look like that that I totally forgot to blog about them. I'm totally kidding - the pizza delivery technician had showed up as I was finishing the last blog entry, and well, I just had to wrap things up quickly. Can't make the pizza guy wait.

Tractor Ride At The Zoo

Talk about a drive down ol' memory lane - I got to ride on this tractor at the petting farm section of the zoo! I remember my Dad telling me stories about riding on a tractor just like this back on the pizza farm. Unfortunately, there were no pizzas to be harvested anywhere near this tractor, but I did get to ride along with my buddy Zach! Come to think of it, we weren't actually moving at all, so I suppose I wasn't really riding. But given that neither Zach's nor my feet could reach any of the pedals, I suppose that was a good thing - especially for the residents of the turkey cage not too far in front of us.

Another Fun Day at the Zoo

I had so much fun with Zach at the zoo yesterday! On top of seeing the animals and getting a lot of fresh air on a beautiful day, we practiced our balancing trick. I know that you must be saying to yourself "Piggy - won't such nonsense lead to you and Zach going down the career path that will end up with the both of you being circus peformers?" I'm here to assure you that while we are both skilled in the arts of balance and silliness, the circus life is not for us. And let me tell you why. A.) No good pizza ever comes from a circus, and B.) The pay is too little to even buy pizza. 'Nuff said!

Slow News Day + Bizarre Pig Story = Huh?

Saw this while surfing the web tonight - hmmmmm....not quite sure what to think of this, other than I'm glad I don't live in southern Hungary, where the crazy folks seem to be hungry for pigs via pig snatching tom-foolery! How does something like this go down? "No, officer, those aren't our pigs squashed in here. We're not sure how they got in here, but they aren't ours, and we didn't do it." Thank goodness for the ace reporting skills of a certain Ms. Krisztina Than who shed light on this!

Thieves caught with 12 pigs in car

Thu Nov 6, 12:43 pm ET
Reuters – Piglets are seen at a farm in Rabacsecse, 148 km (92 miles) northwest of the capital Budapest, Hungary

BUDAPEST (Reuters) – Two thieves were caught in southern Hungary with 12 pigs stuffed in their small van during a routine traffic check, Hungarian police said on Thursday.
Police stopped two men in a Renault Kangoo near the town of Szigetvar, about 220 km (137 miles) south of Budapest, as they attempted to drive off.
"The pigs weighed about 25-30 kg (55-66 lb) each -- they were really squashed into the car very tightly," a spokesman said.
Police said the pigs came from a nearby farm, where 35 pigs have gone missing in recent days.
(Reporting by Krisztina Than; Editing by Catherine Bosley)

My Happy Dance!

Often times people ask me about my happy dance. If this becomes the latest dance craze, you saw it here first!

Riding Shotgun on the Halloween Express

Staring at Ellie eating chocolate really got my mouth watering for candy on this fine Halloween night! Fun was had by all, and there was so much candy that later on I got to sneak some! And no, there were no incriminating photos to be had of me sneaking said candy. All I can say is that bribing any potential photographers with candy to not take your picture in the middle of stealing candy is a handy skill to possess!

By the way, I'd like to give a big shout out to Hope for coming along with us and for helping Zach and I to look for bananas in the neighborhood after we were done going door-to-door! After all, my little buddy was dressed as a monkey, and sometimes you just have to give in to the urge to find bananas.

I've Been One Busy Pig!

I guess time flies when you are having fun - and I sure have been having a lot of fun lately! But that means I've been a bit behind on keeping up the blog, so here goes...

First on the list of fun things I've been up to lately is the great train adventure that Zach and I went on along with Ellie and mommy and daddy. We went to the train park in Scottsdale, and they have a pretty cool train ride you can go on. Well, it was cool except for the LOUD train whistle (daddy had to cover Zach's ears and Zach covered mine) and the tunnel was a bit dark and long. I say they need a bunch of night lights in there. And a pizza stop. They really could use a pizza stop.

Next on the list of fun was going to Schnepf Farms in Queen Creek to enjoy the fall festival they were having. I got to do a lot of fun things with Zach like playing on a wooden train, going through the "pum-keen" (I love the way Ellie says pumpkin!) patch, and seeing animals in the petting zoo they had. I got to say hi to the pigs! I asked them what was up with the straw diet - I mean they could at least put the straw on a pizza! They didn't seem to know what a pizza was, then they made some rude comments about city pigs, so I ended up leaving to go see the goats.

Hopefully the head farmer in charge (or any of the other Schnepf farmers) didn't notice that it was me who left this fine piece of folksy festival sign-age for everyone to chuckle about! I'm still snorting and doing a happy dance over my cleverness on that one! This city pig showed them!

And speaking of animals, I got to go to the zoo with the family. I have to say that I was a bit nervous that perhaps a few of the animals there may have thought that I would make a nice snack. Luckily my buddy Zach protected me so that I could snack on pizza later!

My First 5K Race!

I am SO excited! Today, Zach and the family along with their friend Fred ran the Moon Valley Grasshopper Bridge 5K, and I got to go along! I went with Zach and Ellie in the stroller while Mommy pushed us along. We had a lot of fun, and there was even dancing at the Mile 2 water station! When I asked the nice volunteers at the aid station if there were any pizza stops along the run, they seemed stumped. Finally one of them said no, but that there was a pizza place a few miles away. Oh well. ANYWAY - I did finish the race (please see the photographic proof above), and was happy to get in a good workout this morning. In fact, I was so happy that I posed for a victory shot below!

Brave Helper Piggies

Zach's daddy told me about the animal study he was part of today, and how brave and important the pigs used in the studies were. Even though it made him sad, he knew that the piggies were helping to make life better for sick people.

Banana Blueberry Bread!

First of all, Zach's mommy makes some extremely delicious baked goods, including the very yummy banana blueberry bread. Secondly, when Zach doesn't finish his, and I just happen to get left at the table, guess who hits the yummy baked goods lottery! That's right, yours truly - mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Wagon Rides

Often times people want to know how I like to get around, and let me tell you, nothing beats a wagon ride. That's how I roll!

This Just P*sses Me Off

I just saw this story in the news today, and I can't tell you how angry and sad this made me. I can only hope those evil people get their just rewards.

Pig Abuse Story on CNN