Wiggly P - Godfather of 90's R&B

As some of you may know, I was at the leading edge of the New Jack Swing movement of R&B in the early 90's. My trailblazing fashions were copied by many others of the era - without credit, of course. MC Hammer, Bobby Brown, Keith Sweat, Bell Biv DeVoe - they copied it all - the afro fade, the baggy MC Hammer pants, the incredible dance moves and smooth style - without the courtesy to even buy me a pizza. Try as they might, though, they never did manage to copy my most famous move - the one I liked to call the Pizza Slice! Dah dah da daht - PIZZA TIME! Oh yeah! Anyway, here is a copy of the CD cover to my greatest hit of all - 'Get A Pizza Me' - the multi-platinum, certified smash hit of 1992. VH-1 is always pestering me to be in one of those "I Love the 90's" shows or in my own reality show - just like that goofy Bobby Brown/Whitney Houston mess from a few seasons ago - but I'm not a relic yet! PIZZA TIME!

The Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill

I've been perfecting my Pizzamatic 3000 as I've been hiding out lately due to that whole Swine Flu epidemic. After extensive pizza testing, I can finally say with the utmost authority that I am ready to market this invention as the new and improved "Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill!" Perfect pizzas are guaranteed to slide right off my patented Crustonium grill surfaces! Crisp, golden pizza crusts are practically foolproof with my unique Grillmatic grill, designed specifically to lock in the exact proportion of moisture and crispness. The Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill has been certified by the "As Seen on TV" panel of experts, as well as by several actors who play doctors on TV who have made the Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill their pizza griller of choice. Order now, and I'll throw in - for FREE - the Pizzamatic pizza cutter, which ensures clean and even pizza cuts - EVERY TIME! The cutter can be used to also slice tomatoes paper-thin, and it can even cut random cans! If you are not satisfied with the Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill, you can return the grill and keep the Pizzamatic Cutter as my gift to you. What are you waiting for?! Order your Wiggly Pig Pizza Grill TODAY!

Old Modeling Photos

Some of these internet gossip sites just don't know when to stop with all of their digging into my past. So rather than have them blackmail me about it, or have it turn up on CNN.com as some crazy scandal - I'll beat them to the punch and leak these myself. You think they could just leave a pig alone...ah well. Anyway, I was a poor, starving college student and desperately needed the money for pizza - and it beat donating plasma. I'm not proud of myself, but it beat donating plasma (did I mention that already?). Yes I hung out with the Kerouacs and Ginsbergs and Burroughs and Warhols of the world - actually I should say they tried to hang out with me. They were always looking for cool Piggy-isms and groveling around looking for pizza handouts. I basically just wished that they would shower, quit donating plasma, and stay away from my pizza. They never listened to me, and you see where that got them!

Lost Campaign Poster

I was cleaning things up the other day when I found a copy of my campaign poster for the 2008 elections. I noticed that someone totally ripped me off with their oh-so-clever knock off (ahem...Obama...cough...cough). What's a pig to do? In any event, the ground roots tidal wave of support that this iconic image incited totally drove me to a landslide win in the race for Maricopa County Pizza Commisioner. I noticed it did the same for Mr. Obama. I'm still waiting for a word of thanks - or better yet a "Thanks, Man" pizza from his people. Pineapple, green peppers, sausage, onions, extra cheese... (say "Yes We Can!")

Keeping It On The Down Low

Let me tell you something - being a pig lately has been a little nutty with this swine flu deal that is going around. I'm rolling incognito lately just to play it safe. I assure you that I had NOTHING to do with the swine flu!

Quackapelli

Here is my buddy Zach being silly and looking very much like a modern-day Kokopelli. Not that I'm a fan of Kokopelli, or the multi-plethora of Kokopelli merchandise displayed in Sunday newspaer ads by such fine retailers as Fry's Marketplace.

Holiday Hibernation Is Over

After a busy holiday season filled with much pizza eating and a bizarre present wrapping accident that involved tape and no opposable thumbs, I am back to blog in 2009! But I would be remiss in not including a picture of the 2008 Piggy Award Winner for Excessive Christmas Lights (known as the Griswold Award). This is a new award that I just invented this past Christmas season, but I am proud to announce that this years winner is already in the hall of fame for displaying lights above and beyond the standard set by the Griswold house in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (first picture). Well that, and the creative use of about 127 plastic Santas! Our winning house was discovered not too far from our house during one of our neighborhood drives to check out Christmas lights. And without further ado, the winner is (drumroll, please!).....

Griswold House

2008 Winner of the Griswold Award